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Having Just Cured Cancer, What Next? 

Okay, so you just cured cancer – not just one, but pretty much the whole batch. It was exhausting, but you made enough money to retire the national debt, which you plan to give away in an intelligent way. But, that’s for later. Right now, you’re tired, sick of giving media interviews, and you’ve had enough of the Columbian models – for the moment. You feel the obligation to do something decadent and selfish. Just once. So you order these sweatpants by Sacai designer Chitose Abe for $576. Crazy price, and stupid any other time, but, as we mentioned, you did just cure cancer, so it’s okay. Then you’re going to put them on and climb into bed.

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