It's Thanksgiving time -- the time of year to count our blessings. Here at The Outrage we've got lots to be thankful for.
First of all, we'd like to thank Governor Don Sundquist for funneling $440,000 from Tennessee taxpayers to fund the National Storytelling Center and the annual Storytelling Festival . Some misguided Tennessee citizens might think that if they didn't have to work so hard to pay taxes, they might have a little more time to spend telling stories to their kids.
Politicians and lawyers have always been pretty good at telling stories. Judge Ware of San Jose told a beautiful and very moving story about the death of his brother. Of course the story was a fabrication, and he may now have to resign from the bench. Maybe he can get a job at the new Storytelling Center.
We're thankful that the McCaugheys had such fine results with fertility drugs and were able to become the proud parents of seven children -- all at once. We're also thankful that they've ignored the critics who say using fertility drugs to produce litters of human children is a perversion of science.
We're thankful that science can do such amazing things. We're hoping the next wonder drug will be used to combine intelligence, taste, and discretion. Then maybe science won't be abused for things like spam, breast implants, sex change operations, and computer-generated auto dialing.
We're thankful that Hillary Clinton is able to travel around the world preaching the virtues of civil society and market economies. We're hoping that someday she'll realize the United States could also benefit from those innovations.
We're thankful that the powers-that-be in America have decided that we should ship billions of dollars to far-off lands like Indonesia and Korea to bail out ailing economies. We think it's great that Americans are so generous that they don't mind subsidizing corruption, inefficiency, waste, and political favoritism in places they know absolutely nothing about.
We're thankful that Mrs. Saunders' back hasn't broken yet. (She's the old black lady who lives down the street from us.) She says she doesn't mind working two jobs and looking after her grandchildren. She says that getting by on a working class income might be a little easier if she didn't have to pay social security tax, state income tax, federal income tax, local sales tax, property tax, meals tax, telephone tax, and medicare tax. She also wonders where all that money goes -- she says the working poor sure don't see it.
Mrs. Saunders would also be thankful if she could meet the fathers of her grandchildren. Said fathers should also drop by to meet their children and drop off a check for child support.
We're thankful that Michael Jordan makes more money than some third-world countries. We're also thankful that he's black. If he were white, some people might think that using his hero status to encourage young people to spend $100 on tennis shoes is what used to be called "exploitation."
We're thankful that U.S. Representative Scotty Baesler no longer heads the government of Lexington, Kentucky. If Baesler was still in charge the city might not go forward with its brilliant plan to use $12 million of taxpayer money to build a baseball stadium.
We're thankful that the departing head of the Tennessee Valley Authority is going to receive $822,000. We're glad that even federal government employees don't have to scrimp during the holiday season.
We're thankful that the blind man we see walking to work every day hasn't learned the meaning of victimization. We're thankful that we can learn the meaning of dignity and pride from watching him, even in a world of Outrage.
We're thankful that our little niece hasn't learned to read newspapers or watch the news on TV. If innocence is ignorance and knowledge is outrage, we hope she sticks with the former. She can still go merrily skipping along, bringing smiles and peace to all the outraged adults around her.
We're thankful that Jazz Goddess Sade Adu tries to keep a low profile. Worship is so much easier when you don't have to read the quotes.
We're thankful that venture capitalists get rude when we explain we're in the business of providing content over the Internet. How else would we learn patience and perseverance? We're also thankful that our friends and family have stopped asking about our "cash-flow situation."
We're thankful that our creditors don't realize there's strength in numbers.
We're thankful for the mindless, yet sublime, American tradition of celebrating Thanksgiving by gorging on turkey and watching football.
We're thankful that the Outrage clan is escaping from Washington for a few days to enjoy the pleasures noted above.
Finally, we're thankful to our readers. We don't know why, but some of you actually seem to enjoy this stuff.
